I wonder how stressed Regency folk were during the holidays. I was thinking that perhaps they didn’t travel so much, and things might have been easier. But then I remembered all the accounts of people going for protracted visits to various country houses. Like the following snip from a letter Lord Aucklands sent his sister, Emily Eden, after a visit:
“Mary in such a fright you never saw—such a silence you never heard—room so hot you never felt—dinner so cold you never tasted—dogs so tiresome you never smelt.”
So maybe holiday visits weren’t so idyllic then, either. It isn’t much comfort as some of us head off to visit extended families for the holidays. It’s not only an issue of differing tastes and comfort levels; it’s the politics.
People who read and write romance love to see closure in relationships—problems worked out with love as the result. But in real life we can’t always have that. Not with relatives or friends who don’t want to work through the real issues. Sometimes the best I know to do is to paste a smile on my face, for the sake of outward peace. I put up with digs from a jealous sibling, because it’s stupid to brangle, and because I want my kids to enjoy a peaceful time with their grandparents.
But it takes a toll. It just feels so wrong to have to put up with nonsense at a time that’s supposed to be so wonderful. The way I cope is to take (or steal, if necessary) as many little moments of beauty, things that are, in their own way, perfect and wonderful.
In the Regency, I probably would have escaped out of doors whenever possible for a walk. Or if that wasn’t possible, I might have dived into a good book or some soothing embroidery.
Some of my favorite modern escapes:
- Christmas videos. The original GRINCH—what a wonderful character arc! Some less well known pleasures: OLIVE THE OTHER REINDEER, with the voice of Drew Barrymore. So funny and cute! An unexpected pleasure: Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Christmas video, with a surprisingly intense villain (for Disney) and more of the same romantic chemistry between Belle and her tortured hero.
- Music. ON YOOLIS NIGHT: Medieval Carols & Motets by Anonymous 4—wonderfully atmospheric and soothing. YULE, with Linn Barnes and Allison Hampton on Celtic harp, guitar and lute. And a new favorite: THE CHAPIN FAMILY CHRISTMAS COLLECTION, Volume II–new takes on old favorites.
- Cookies! Each year I bake a few kinds, but not with the intent of impressing anyone with Martha-ness. I truly love squishing dough with my fingers, love frosting cookies in elaborate patterns. And of course, eating them. Regular standbys: medauninkai, a Lithuanian cookie sweetened with honey and laced with spices. Vanilla almond crescents, made with a ton of butter and covered in powdered sugar that gets all over dark clothing (I guess Megan might avoid them). Something chocolate, which varies—this year those grasshopper squares, like huge, rich after dinner mints. Moderation is for the New Year. Right now, comfort foods are OK as long as you’re not just inhaling them but really taking a moment to savor them.
- And of course, diving into a good book. This year, I’m taking Julia Ross’s GAMES OF PLEASURE with me as I head home for the holidays.
What are your favorite holiday pick-me-ups?
Elena
LADY DEARING’S MASQUERADE, an RT Top Pick!
www.elenagreene.com
Good food for thought, Elena, even if the thought powder DOES get all over my black clothes (and yes, today is another all-black day).
For me, I light scented candles, read books, drink tea. Which is actually what I like doing the rest of the year, but this time I get to sit next to our Christmas tree. And in a few days we go to encounter some of those same relatives you mention–the jealous sibling, the oblivious teenagers, the defensive MIL–and I’ll be eating a few of her cookies.
I made cookies this year, decided I hate making cookies. I hate cutting them out especially, only the son likes decorating them. And I ate too many.
One Christmas-setting movie I love is the Thin Man, which happens at Christmas, even though that’s not the main focus of the film.
Oh, and add wine to all the above. Makes it much better.
Ah, have to check out the Thin Man again, Megan! Forgot it was at all Christmassy! (Christmasy?)
I like to listen to traditional, English-y Christmas music. Choirs, or brass. My first Christmas away from home was in Norwich, England when I was a junior in college. There was a brass band (only five or so instruments) in one town square playing a slightly minor-key Hark the Herald Angels (which had never been my favorite carol) and it was so beautiful and melancholy it brought tears to my eyes (in those days I didn’t cry easily) and I’ve loved that sort of music ever since.
I admit I mostly hate modern pop Christmas carols…well, if they start out pop (like Jingle Bell Rock) I don’t mind, but I hate pop versions of traditional songs. I hate Clay Aiken’s Christmas album. 🙂 The boy has a gorgeous voice, and I so wish he’d just sung the songs straight!
Okay, there’s enough about my seasonal pickiness. 🙂
Cara (who got through that with only two smileys! She’s on a smiley diet!)
I love The Thin Man, too! Especially the “after presents” scene where they’re lounging around their living room, and he’s shooting out balloons on the tree and she’s wearing her fur coat. Maybe I need a martini…
I also use music to help escape the craziness. I have a pile of medieval music, and “jazzy” music like “Ella Fitzgerald Wishes You a Swinging Christmas.” And when things get too bad–I run off to the movies. I have a feeling I will be seeing Pride and Prejudice again very soon. 🙂