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Monthly Archives: February 2011

Here are my answers to last Friday’s Meme:

1. When I think of Mr. Darcy, he is buck naked.

2. Lord Masterful greets YOU at a ball. You look down to see what he’s staring at and discover a billet-doux from Lord Hawt.

3. One of my favorite Regency-set novels is Mary Balogh’s A Summer to Remember.

4. If you could meet Lord Byron, what would you ask him? WTF? Seriously, dude, WTF?

5. You wake up and find yourself in a Regency historical novel. What’s the plot? I inherit a vast fortune that comes with an evil guardian who wants to off me. As I’m climbing out the window to save myself, I fall into the arms of a masked highwayman who turns out to be Lord McHunkyPants who, just my luck, is looking for a rich heiress to marry and ravish him.

6. A Regency fairy-godmother grants you three Regency wishes. What are they? 1) Suffrage 2) The ability to sing like an angel and 3) Good taste in all things fashionable.

7. If you could change ONE fact about the Regency what would it be? Voting rights, including women. But I might insist that Shelly rewrite his essay on poetry so it actually makes sense.

8. Napoleon writes you a letter. What does he say? Darling, the key to the treasure is under the 5th floorboard in the seventh room in your cottage. Spend it madly, my love.

9. How many exquisite slippers are in your wardrobe? None unless my wishes get granted in #6, in which case the answer is 15 and I vote for Reform.

10. How do you take your tea? As hot as Lord Hawt and as black as our sins.

The Winner of the Friday Meme is…. M

M – email me (carolyn AT carolynjewel.com) so I have your email address and can set up your prize! (An Amazon Gift Card!!)

Please don’t ask me why I was searching Google Books for references to ninja between 1795 and 1820. Just accept that I was and that I was expecting there to be close to zero results.

But below, is the first of two pages of results.

The examiner: Volume 9 – Page 127

Leigh Hunt – 1819 – Free Google eBook Read

or ngninst whose return, a Petition is depending, or of a Member who is sixty years of age, (suppose he wishes to be excused), such name, is set aside, and another is drawn to supply his place until forty-ninja be selected.

books.google.com More editionsAdd to My Library In My Library: Change

Holy moly! Forty NINJAS? That’s no lone ninja a long way from home. That’s an invasion! DURING THE REGENCY! How could we not know about this?

(Because they are ninjas, that’s why.)

So, of course I clicked. Who wouldn’t? I mean ninjas in England in 1819 and they’re all acting like, hey, let’s keep picking until we have an attack force of FORTY of these motherf*ckers. Napoleon would be toast if, uh, he weren’t already.

Alas, the reality was disappointing to say the least.

But if among these names is that of a Member who given a vote in the election complained of or who is a Petitioner or ngninst whose return a Petition depending or of a Member who is sixty years of suppose he wishes to be excused such name is set and another is drawn to supply his place until forty be selected When the forty nine are complete the or his Agent names a Member and the

All the rest were foreign language results. Those Romans, Germans and Italian-post-Latin speakers! Always the fake ninjas.

Kind of disappointing. So. Help me out here.

Your Task

You command the Ninja attack force in London, 1815. What do you do with them? Or, alternatively, provide a snippet of Regency Ninja Lore.

Like, A Regency Ninja is thought to have infiltrated Almack’s, assassinated six debutantes and eleven Regency Bucks in pink waiscoats and vanished after spiking the orgeat with sake.

Or something.

Comment away.

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OK, let’s see if I can pull off this post. If not, I blame it on whatever little beastie went after Amanda’s computer. My intention is to bring this around to the Regency era. (waving of hands.)

Country Living

I live in the country, and the other day, I tweeted the picture you see here. (Blogger isn’t letting me add images right now so I’m off to fetch the embed code from my flickr account . . . BRB) snowonSonomaMountains_20110219_1

OK! I took that picture from the deck of my house this past weekend. What I was thinking at the time was that there was SNOW on the mountains. SNOW! Around here, we call them the Sonoma Mountains, even though everyone knows they’re really just hills. The snow level has to be down to 1500-2000 feet for there to be snow on the Sonoma Mountains.

I tweeted the picture thinking everyone would be all, OMG, that’s SNOW on the Sonoma Mountains and that one or two people who live where there is actual weather would tell me to grow a pair. (Hey, I stood on the deck in my jammies and slippers and took that picture! It was kind of cold. Sort of.) I just looked up the elevation of my town. It’s 12-400 feet. That morning, the house was about 30 minutes and 1500 feet of elevation from SNOW and 30 minutes and let’s say 12-400 feet of elevation from the Pacific Ocean.

Instead of the comments I expected, many people on twitter said they wanted to move in with me. Because, as I had actually forgotten in my excitement over SNOW!! on the Sonoma Mountains, our house has a spectacular view. In fact, most of that side of the house is sliding glass doors that look onto variations of that view. Mostly without snow, I should add.

Which Got Me To Thinking

If you live in a city, it’s easy to get divorced from nature. In the US, most of us aren’t getting our food from a garden or the farm, or the neighbor’s farm. We get eggs from the store, not chickens. Our meat comes from the meat department, not from the butchered pig we raised.

When we eat a delicious melon, we don’t save the seeds so we can plant them and eat the same melon again next year.

When we go outside at night, we can’t see the stars and for many of us, we can barely see the moon.

We have declining variety in our food because we stopped saving seeds to plant.

A few stories

We have chickens at our house, and my son has grown up on fresh eggs from chickens that roam around during the day eating what comes naturally to chickens. Eggs from chickens like this taste different. They look different — the yolks are an intense golden-yellow-orange. They behave differently in recipes.

Then a coyote ate the chickens — during the day! and we had to buy store bought eggs while we waited for the weather to warm up enough for us to buy new chicks, and then for the chicks to turn into hens and then for the eggs to get past the tiny pullet stage . . .

The first time my son saw scrambled eggs from store bought eggs, he wanted to know what was wrong with them. Because they were anemic looking. They were pale, pale, yellow instead of a strong yellow. They didn’t taste all that great either. Compared to real eggs.

Fresh vegetables from a garden are kind of the same experience.

Not Lambchops!

When I was a kid, my folks had one of our lambs slaughtered and my mom fed us lamb chops shortly thereafter. We all sat there, in silence, staring at our plates. No one moved to so much as pick up a fork. We were all thinking how we’d watched that lamb gamboling in the field. My mother sighed, took away the lamb chops and fed us Cheerios for dinner.

She could do that because my father was a physician and she had been to the grocery store to buy food. We didn’t need those home grown lamb chops for survival. It’s astonishing when you think about it.

The Regency!

And all that got me to thinking that if you don’t have electricity, you know what dark is. You know there are degrees of outside dark at night and how incredibly bright a full moon is. You can see the stars at night.

Even if you, in the Regency past, do not yourself farm, you are aware of the seasons of farming and what that means for the food that can be easily put on your plate at a given season. Your mode of transportation is your own two feet or powered by an animal who must be fed, watered and cared for.

In the developed world of the 21st century we’ve gotten very far from nature, and every now and then, I get reminded of that.

Since I write stories set in the past, I think it’s a good idea for me to occasionally take a few moments to think of all the ways I am divorced from nature and all the lore we no longer know– because we have no reason to care exactly when the full moon is, for example — and that people in the Regency did know.

Not that I’d give up my civil rights, vaccinations or my iPhone. But it’s interesting to think about.

What do you think we miss most from that past? What modern invention could you least do without? Let’s take medicine off the table on that last one because everyone chiming in with “Antibiotics!” and “Emergency Room Staff” would get dull pretty quickly.

Today at the Riskies we’re pleased to welcome back Janet Mullany (contest details and excerpts on her website) whose Regency chicklit Mr. Bishop and the Actress is officially released tomorrow but is available right now at bookdepository.com, free shipping worldwide.

Hi Janet!

Hi Janet!

Tell us about the book.

You know what it’s about.

[Go on, pretend]

[Heavy sigh] Mr Bishop and the Actress, a work of staggering genius, stark unrelenting beauty, and fierce, unbridled passion between a man, a woman, and the regiment who loves them–oh sorry, wrong book. It started with the title and a first line, Sorry, darling, it’s either you or the horses. That actually became the first line of chapter 2. It’s about an actress–

An actress? Again?*

So? Yes, an actress who’s a mistress being discarded, hence the first line of chapter 2.

Maybe we should talk about what’s new for you in the book.

Okay. There is a prologue in third person omnipotent point of view, past tense.

Really?

I think that’s what it is. There’s also childbirth, death, a virgin hero, annoying parents, runaway children, bad jokes, and a look into the marriage of Shad and Charlotte from Improper Relations after three children.

No dancing bears?**

Very few animals. There are some dogs, a pig whose best friend is a dog, and a donkey whose best friend is a horse, and some poultry with Shakespearian names, but that’s about it.

That’s disappointing.

Not really. There is a bearded lady whose stage name is Fatima the Bearded Woman of Constantinople but who is really called Sylvia Cooper and who comes from Wapping.

That makes a nice change. How about sex?

Absolutely. Here’s an excerpt from page 46.

“Do you wear those spectacles all the time, Mr. Bishop?”

“Yes, except when I’m in bed.”

She smiles and rises to her feet. She reaches for the spectacles and removes them.

And then?

Explicit details follow in chapter four.

Finally.

Chapter four is one page long.

Moving on, can you explain the title?

It’s an English joke. If you add “as the actress said to the bishop” to an innocent statement, it can sound quite dirty. It’s rather like the pleasing effect of adding “in bed” to a fortune cookie motto, which improves it no end (even if it’s a bible quote).

So please give us your example of an innocent sentence corrupted by the addition of “as the actress said to the bishop.” Janet will give away two signed copies of the book, winner to be announced on Saturday.

*A Most Lamentable Comedy, The Rules of Gentility
**A Most Lamentable Comedy


Did you watch the Academy Awards?

I really loved the show, mostly because Colin Firth and The King’s Speech won. Yippee!!! Wasn’t Colin Firth just so witty and charming? And handsome.
What did you think of Anne Hathaway and James Franco as hosts? I thought Anne was beautiful and I loved her changes of clothing, but I’ll leave the fashion assessment to Amanda.
I also thought James Franco had the most amazing smile. It totally transforms his face. He intrigues me, because in addition to being an Academy Award nominee for Best Actor, he’s a Yale Ph.D. student, and he really does seem to put his schoolwork above everything else.
This weekend I’m thinking about movies a lot. I spent the weekend at Inn Boonsboro, the boutique hotel that Nora Roberts renovated in her home town. Fifteen of my Washington Romance Writer friends filled the Inn for an informal writers weekend. More on that experience in my Thursday Blog.
One of the things we did was to watch the movie Die Hard and discuss its “Seven Anchor Scenes,” Lani Diane Rich’s concept about plotting. The seven anchor scenes are those where a turning point occur and the main character makes a decision that furthers his story arc.
I don’t know about seven anchor scenes, but it was fun to discuss the movie as we were watching it. Lots of fun.
While watching the Academy Awards it occurred to me that what movies and books have in common is that, in order for us to like them, they must have interesting characters undergoing some sort of transformation. When we use movie plot structure to help us plot our books (as we were when we watched Die Hard), we should also look to movies to see how they build characters we care about.
Take Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy….I think why we all love his Mr. Darcy was revealed in his face. Jane Austen didn’t write from the male point of view, so in the book, we only know Darcy from his descriptions and his dialogue. Firth gave us so much more in his interpretation of the character.
And in The King’s Speech, he “showed” us King George VI’s emotional and physical struggle in such a realistic way that we fell in love with the character. But it was because he performed the role so realistically, and that is another lesson for us writers. The emotions and behaviors of our characters have to ring true every time or readers will not be interested in them.
So…Did you see the Academy Awards? Any awards that surprised or disappointed you? If you write, do you look to movies to learn about plotting and character? If you are a reader, do you sometimes “see” books as if they were movies?
Come to Diane’s Blog on Thursday to see more about my weekend at Inn Boonsboro!
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