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Author Archives: Janet Mullany

Aaargh! It’s almost upon us, roughly slouching…

But while I am trying to ignore the Christmas Beast, at this time of year there’s one very important thing to do in preparation for the holidays and that’s to book tickets to a Christmas performance. I know we’ll all be playing our favorite Christmas CDs (or listening to the BBC’s live satellite broadcast of the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols) but I urge you to get out to a real, live performance. (And by the way, the performing arts enhance the economic and social wellbeing of the community, do all sorts of good things for kids and adults, and live performance does something for you that DVDs or CDs can’t. Check out this list of reports from the Cultural Alliance of Washington, D.C. You’ll need to scroll down to Reports and Studies. Some are local, some national. And it costs about the same as a ballgame, sometimes less, to go to the opera or ballet.)

Check out what’s going on in your area. If you’re interested in traditional music and folklore, you might want to catch a performance by the Christmas Revels.

Or how about the Nutcracker? Gorgeous music and costumes, wonderful dancing, and an erectile Christmas tree!


My favorite Christmas music is Handel’s Messiah and I have fond memories of performances in England with a thumping big local choir and imported soloists (preferably with a Welsh bass). One of my most memorable Messiahs was performed in York Minster. It was freezing cold–literally. I don’t know how the orchestra kept their instruments tuned. The entire audience wore coats, hats, gloves, and scarves. The conductor announced extra cuts that would be made so we didn’t freeze to death, and at intermission we all shot out to the pub for something to keep us warm (ginger wine for me, thanks). But it was a fabulous performance in a breathtakingly beautiful setting, a memory I’ll treasure all my life.

The Messiah has been performed continuously ever since its Dublin premiere in 1742, although it was associated earlier on with Easter more than Christmas. George II started the tradition of standing for the Hallelujah Chorus. Here’s some more to read about the Messiah.

Do you have a holiday tradition that involves attending, or taking part in a live performance? Have you sung in a chorus, or danced in the Nutcracker, or been a ballet mom? What music do you like to listen to over the holidays?

Janet


You enter your library to find your mistress in flagrante with the butler. You…
a. Fire the butler and the mistress
b. Kill the butler
c. Ask the butler if he’ll dust the bookshelves when he’s finished
d. Shrug and invade another European country

You are discovered in flagrante with the season’s leading debutante. You…
a. Propose marriage to her
b. Offer to set her up as your mistress (you are tiring of her predecessor who will not shut up about the butler)
c. Offer to pay for the damage to the carpet
d. Shrug and pass her on to a lackey

Your preferred mount is…
a. A fiery mare only you can handle
b. A fiery stallion only you can handle
c. A friendly cob who goes to sleep when he stands still
d. Anything so long as it’s at the head of a victorious army

You find yourself snowed in at a remote country inn. To pass the time, you…
a. Flirt with the fascinating female guest who is traveling alone
b. Seduce all of the chambermaids and female guests, mainly serially
c. Settle down with a good book
d. Get out the maps and plan the next campaign

You hire a plain, respectable governess to educate your child. You…
a. Fall in love with her but respect her too much to seduce her
b. Seduce her and toss her out (the slut)
c. Discuss lesson plans with her
d. Kill her. She’s probably a spy

Your hobbies include…
a. Horse racing, gambling, drinking, womanizing
b. All of the above, but to excess
c. Collecting and cataloguing the botanical specimens on your estate
d. Conquering the known world

If your answers were mostly
a–
Sorry, you’re far too typical a hero to attract a truly outstanding woman. You really need to re-think your lifestyle.
bA hopeless rake. Women will swoon at your feet, fall into your bed, and generally harass you.
cA lovable nerd. Sadly, you’ll never be more than a supporting character. Women, however, will find you strangely attractive, particularly after the rake has ruined and abandoned them.
dYou’re Napoleon and you can do whatever you want to.

No, not for Hallowe’en!

I spoke at a workshop a few weeks ago with some other historical writers, and when we asked for questions, a woman asked this:

If I’d lived two hundred years ago, what would I be?
Chances are, we told her, you wouldn’t be a member of the aristocracy, or own land or wealth. If you lived in America, more than likely you’d be someone’s property. Adam Hochschild, author of Bury The Chains: Prophets and Rebels in the Fight to Free an Empire’s Slaves calculates that at the beginning of the English abolitionist movement, approximately two-thirds of the world’s population was in some form of slavery or bondage.

So…you’re living in England during the Regency. You’re not Lady Something or the Hon. Miss Something-Else. You’re not even a gentleman’s daughter. You have to earn a living.
If you were born in the country, you might be able to stay there–always assuming you weren’t forced out by foreclosure–or you might seek a job in a mill or factory in one of the rapidly growing industrial cities.

Or, you might go into service. Here’s another amazing statistic: in the eighteenth century, one-third of all the population (with the exception of the aristocracy) was in service at some time in their lives—usually until their mid-twenties. About one-third of London’s population were servants. Some people, working in the houses of the rich, rose in the ranks to enter the servant elite as butler, housekeeper, or lady’s maid; even though this illustration is from the mid-eighteenth century, you can see how well-dressed this lady’s maid is. Servants earned room and board, plus “perks”—for a ladies maid or valet, cast-off clothing they could wear or sell—or “vails,” tips from visitors usually given to footmen. The maidservant illustration is from the mid-nineteenth century, but gives you an idea of what it was like being at the beck and call of a bell, and negotiating stairs in a long skirt, possibly carrying something worse than a tea service. Becoming a servant for a few years gave you upward mobility; hopefully you’d have saved enough to leave, marry, and own your own business—a shop, maybe—and have a servant or two of your own.

But life was uncertain and who knows where you might end up (another interesting statistic, although one I find difficult to believe: one third of the female population of London during the nineteenth century were prostitutes). You might find yourself reviewed in Harris’s List of Covent Garden Ladies, a sort of Michelin Guide to whores for the discerning gentleman.

Your best bet, really, as we told the woman smart enough to ask this interesting question, was to marry as well as you could.

So what what would you be?

Janet


…the smell of the crowd.

Or, why I love and hate contests.

I published as a result of a contest, when Dedication won the Beau Monde’s Royal Ascot and the final round judge asked me for a full. In fact Dedication has been a contest cow for much of its existence–it won the Best Regency category of the NJRW’s Golden Leaf contest a couple of weeks ago, to my delight. So contests have been good to me.

But I’ve never let them become too important in my life–I was smart enough as an unpubbed to realize that contests were their own thing. Here are my hard-earned nuggets of wisdom as a former unpubbed contest slut:

  1. It doesn’t matter how you place. Finaling is the most important thing.
  2. Editors will not care nearly as much about fonts, margins, or header styles as first-round contest judges do–they like legibility.
  3. It’s possible to do very well with a ms. in contests but not be able to sell it.
  4. Editors do not have nearly as rigid a view on what a romance is, should be, or can be, as contest judges.
  5. The stronger your voice, the more widely divergent your contest scores will be (hint: enter contests where the lowest score is discarded or is sent for contingency judging).
  6. It doesn’t matter if there’s a page missing in a final round entry. Honest!

All that said, I really urge any unpubbed writers to enter the Golden Heart. Once a finalist, always a finalist–you get on and off editors’ and agents’ desks fast (a mixed blessing) and you’ll make some good friends–Diane is one of my many 2003 GH finalist friends, aka The Wet Noodle Posse. That’s one way to crank up publisher interest in trads–particularly if you’re subverting the subgenre and going for the unexpected. Show them there’s life in the beast still–otherwise we may as well try to save unicorns.

Janet

Enter my contest all this month at roadtoromance.ca
DEDICATION~Winner, 2006 Golden Leaf Contest (Regency)


Do you have a muse?
What is s/he like?

And what is a Muse, anyway?
For the family history and definition of who represents what (and to be honest I’m not sure who represents fiction, although poets have a choice of several), go here. The Muses are a group of Greek goddesses, the offspring of Zeus and Mnemosyne (“memory,” who may or may not have been another goddess, although Zeus had a tendency to get it on with anyone, or anything). They are the divinities who guide artists and scientists.


My personal Muse is a lady of a certain age. Wait, I’m a lady (or at least a woman) of a certain age. She’s even older than me. She favors cameo brooches, sensible shoes, and tweed skirts and is a cross between Miss Costello, the headmistress of the English all-girls school I attended (she never seemed to wash her hair; like boytoys who maintain a three-day stubble, she always had the same grease factor), and Geraldine McEwan as Miss Marples. She is, however, much less agreeable than Miss Marples, given to sarcasm and the delicate raising of a single eyebrow for emphasis. She is very prim, proper, and upper-class.

“My dear. Surely you do not really wish to scrub beneath the kitchen sink rather than write?”

“Another look at the email? So soon? I think not.”

And, this is the killer, comments made in reference to other writers:

“As the dear Count said to me the other day…oh yes, that Count; he didn’t finish War and Peace by frolicking online during valuable writing time, you know. Dear Nikolai, dead but still writing…”

Well, you get the picture. That’s my Muse. Tell us about yours.

Meanwhile, over at the Wet Noodle Posse I’m blogging today on what I like doing in bed.

Janet

Enter my contest all this month at roadtoromance.ca
DEDICATION~Winner, 2006 Golden Leaf Contest (Regency)