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Category: Frivolity

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Another Important Survey

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Look at them up there, glaring! The Miss Bingleys definitely want to duke it out. They’re both fierce and cruel. They’ve both been educated by the best instructors. Who do YOU think would win in a fight? Would one win at boxing, and the other at wrestling, or would one wipe the floor with the other in any form of combat?

Or how about the Lady Catherines??? Which one of these would beat the other at mudwrestling? At boxing? At sumo wrestling?


Would they pull hair and bite??? Would they gouge each others’ eyes out?

Who would you wager your hard-earned money on?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Cara
Cara King, www.caraking.com
MY LADY GAMESTER — Holt Medallion Finalist!

Posted in Frivolity, Jane Austen, Reading, TV and Film | Tagged | 13 Replies

Dreadfully Important Survey

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Dreadfully Important Survey here. Much more important than that census nonsense. The fate of the world hangs in the balance.

And the pictures here of handsome men are entirely relevant, and not there for any superficial, oh-aren’t-they-cute sort of reason.

1. If Horatio Hornblower (as played by Ioan Gruffudd) had a fistfight with Jack Aubrey (as played by Russell Crowe), who would win? And how much would you pay to watch them fight? How much more would you pay if they fought without their shirts on?

2. How about Jack Aubrey versus Captain Wentworth (as played by Ciaran Hinds)? Or would you be too afraid that Anne (as played by Amanda Root) would beat you to death with her umbrella for watching?

3. How about Wentworth versus Hornblower?

4. If the three captains actually fought, would that be like Regency mudwrestling?

5. Would Richard Sharpe (as played by Sean Bean) be able to wipe the floor with any of them?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Cara

Posted in Frivolity, Reading, Regency, TV and Film | Tagged | 11 Replies

New cover and tabloid book blurbs

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First, here’s the new cover for Dedication, coming from Loose-Id next month, and you’ll hear all about it as time goes on. There’s more information on my site. Isn’t it pretty!

My task of the day is coming up with a blurb for another book that will be out sometime … soon. It’s called The Malorie Phoenix and was originally written as an option ms. for Signet Regencies (remember them? Polyester dresses, no sex?). So on p. 7 the hero and heroine (who was, uh rather young, but the age of consent then was 12… No, of course she’s not 12! But she’s not 21 or 31, but inexplicably she’s a virgin) are at it. And I was going to send this to Signet? Thank goodness the line ended.

I can’t but help think of this in tabloid language which isn’t helping me with the blurb.

Earl’s Son Bonks Virgin at Vauxhall Gardens
“I didn’t ask to see ID,” says Benedict de Malorie, officer in some regiment or other. “I thought she was doing her bit for the Napoleonic war effort.”

Suspected Criminal Tangles with Aristocracy
Alleged pickpocket Jenny Smith, who refused to give her age, today accused the younger son of the Earl of T— of fathering her child. “And he was pretty incompetent in the sack,” Miss Smith reported as she emptied her pockets of three handkerchiefs, a fob seal, and a cravat pin. “Where the heck did these come from? I’ve never seen them before in my life.”

Vauxhall Gardens Shock Horror
… and so on.

So let’s take a look at a few tabloid interpretations of favorite books

Red Carpet Shocker at Meryton Assembly
Neither Fitzwilliam Darcy nor Elizabeth Bennet were available for comment following their encounter at the Meryton Assembly. Ms. Bennet, described by close friends as “in remarkably good shape following a night of dancing” has been seen working at her embroidery.

Willoughby Does It Again!
“I’ve no idea what her problem is,” John Willoughby said after accusations made publicly last night by Marianne Dashwood. “She obviously came out of rehab too soon.”

Just Friends
Pooh and Eeyore denied any romantic entanglement again today after they were seen sharing honey and thistles in an intimate thicket. “I think we should give them their privacy to work things out,” commented John Watson, long time companion of hottie Sherlock Holmes.

OK, now it’s your turn…

Posted in Frivolity, Risky Book Talk | Tagged , , | 7 Replies

Still More questions from Bertie

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Greetings! It is I, Bertram St. James, delighted to be here (as always). I know you Twenty-First Century folk do not much care to answer my questions, but I will nonetheless continue to ask them. Such as:

1. How can the United States of America call itself a republic, and yet have a queen? And what sort of a queenly name is Latifah, anyway?

2. Why would anyone pay eighty dollars to buy Obsession? Is not Obsession something one comes by naturally, and occasionally pays large sums to be rid of?

3. In my day, musicians had names like John and Nathaniel. Why do musicians today have names like N Sync and Eminem? And why do they play no instruments?

4. Speaking of musicians, if M.T.V. truly stands for “Musical TeleVision”, why does it play no music?

If anyone can explain to me the answers to these conundrums, I will be most grateful.

Yours as ever, and exquisite as always,

Bertie the Beau

Posted in Frivolity | Tagged , | 6 Replies

Scones

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I’m celebrating St. Patrick’s Day a bit late–like today. I feel the same way about it as I do Valentine’s Day. Much of it very tacky. I am not into green food coloring in my beer, will take the genuine Guinness instead, thank you very much. Also, my own heritage is Lithuanian (more people who drink a lot and sing sad songs), so I don’t particularly feel the need to BE Irish for a day.

But there are some things I enjoy around this time. Celtic music: I put on my CDs of Loreena McKennitt, the Boys of the Lough, and others. Later today I’m going to a Celtic Songfest by the Binghamton Madrigal Choir. Meanwhile, my husband is going to make corned beef and cabbage. And I’m baking scones.

Here’s the recipe I used last year, and it worked well. Hope they turn out as well this time!

IRISH SCONES

3 cups white flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 TBSP sugar
3/4 cup milk
1 cup raisins and/or other dried fruit
1 egg

1. Preheat oven to 400 deg. Lightly butter two large cookie sheets.
2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, cream of tartar and sugar. Add butter and mix well.
3. Stir in milk. (Dough is heavy.)
4. Mix in raisins (use hands if necessary).
5. Press dough on a floured surface and roll out gently to 1/2 inch thickness. Cut scones into round shapes or triangles.
6. Beat the egg, brush scones with egg wash for shine.
7. Bake 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.

Elena
LADY DEARING’S MASQUERADE
http://www.elenagreene.com/

Posted in Frivolity | Tagged , | 5 Replies